Banning phones won’t fix teen mental health; but teaching safe use might
In recent years, the debate around teenagers and mobile phone access has become increasingly polarised. Media narratives often lean heavily into the risks, painting a picture of addiction, distraction, depression and danger. But what if we’re missing the bigger picture, especially when it comes to neurodivergent teens?
As a parent of neurodivergent twin teenagers, I’ve seen firsthand how mobile phones can be transformative tools for connection, learning, and emotional regulation. My daughter, who is autistic with a PDA profile and ADHD, has been out of school for a year due to emotionally based school non-attendance and experiences situational mutism. To her, her phone is much more than a distracting device; it’s a lifeline that helps her feel included and offers her a way to communicate when she isn’t able to speak. Texting offers a low-demand way to communicate, meaning we can discuss things via text that she simply wouldn’t be able to discuss with me verbally, making her phone an indispensable and empowering tool. And contrary to the popular narrative, her phone and the social media on it, play a significant role in helping her to regulate her emotions too.
The fear narrative
The statistics are sobering:
By age 12, 97% of UK children have a smartphone.
Nearly 100% of UK teens (13–17) report owning one.
Around 15–19% of teens self-report problematic smartphone use (PSU), which correlates with higher rates of anxiety and depression.
These figures understandably fuel concern. Schools have responded with restrictions; 99.8% of primary and 90% of secondary schools in England have mobile phone policies. Parents, too, are calling for tighter controls, with some advocating for outright bans for all children under the age of 16.
But is this fear entirely justified? Or is it partly driven by adults feeling overwhelmed by fast-moving technology they don’t fully understand and which they aren’t able to control?
The benefits we tend to overlook
Phones aren’t just distractions, they’re tools, and when used thoughtfully, they offer:
Safety and communication: Instant contact in emergencies, GPS tracking, and coordination for pickups or schedule changes.
Educational support: Access to learning apps, educational content, and collaboration tools. Phones build digital literacy, an essential skill for modern life.
Social connection: Especially vital for neurodivergent teens who may struggle with face-to-face interaction. Online platforms offer a way to build trust and maintain friendships.
Creativity and expression: Photography, video editing, music creation, and writing, smartphones empower teens to express themselves in ways previous generations couldn’t.
Support networks: Mental health resources, peer support groups, and helplines are just a tap away.
Independence: Navigation apps and real-time transport updates help teens travel safely and independently.
A Personal Perspective
We gave our children their first phones during the pandemic, earlier than planned, but we’re glad we did. We set boundaries, discussed online safety, and introduced apps gradually. My daughter now uses her phone to stay connected with friends, navigate social situations, and even draft messages using AI tools when verbal communication feels too hard.
She told me recently:
“Without my phone, I wouldn’t have any friends. I feel more confident talking to people online than face-to-face, especially before I trust someone. But it’s not just about that; you need a phone to keep up with friends. If you’re not in the group chat, you don’t get invited to things.”
She’s cautious, blocks strangers, and knows how to stay safe. These are life skills. And while she’s aware of risks like inappropriate content or online predators, she’s equipped to handle them.
A call for balance
The worst viral fears my children have experienced, like killer clowns in 2016, and the Momo challenge in 2019, happened before she even had a phone, and neither did most of her friends, but both crazes swept through their primary school just the same. That says a lot about how fear spreads, and how social media amplifies it. But it also shows that banning teenagers from having phones wouldn’t eliminate their exposure to fear, because word of mouth is still just as effective at spreading urban myths and rumours.
It’s time for a more balanced conversation. One that acknowledges the risks but also celebrates the benefits. Especially for teens who rely on their phones not just for fun, but for connection, learning, and emotional wellbeing.
Let’s stop letting fear drive the debate. Let’s start listening to the voices of the young people who use these tools every day, and the parents who see the positive difference they can make.
